Hi. My name is Mahoganie Jade Browne and I am a pole thief…according to my pole dancing instructor as I stood at her pole in my absent-mindedness.
It’s Sunday and my thighs STILL hurt after a nice workout I had Friday evening. About a month ago a friend of mine brought to my attention a coupon deal on the review site Yelp. The deal was for a “drop in” pole dancing fitness class at Pole Pressure. Funny thing is, one of our old high school classmates is an instructor there. Of course I said I would join her. I had no idea what I was getting myself into. Well, I did, but I didn’t. Going in, I knew my stomach, thigh and arms muscles would get a work out. I just didn’t know how intense it would feel, especially since the last time I actually worked out was in February as I was completing my series of yoga classes. My friend and I chose the 1-2 combo class, which is for beginners but it includes intermediate moves as the series of classes progresses. Apparently I sent my body into shock. On top of it all, dumb me didn’t have much to eat before class and I didn’t get my proper in-take of water. So for the hour long class my muscles contracted and tighten, and I had to take brief breaks as I felt as if I would pass out as my body dripped with sweat. It’s a wonder I didn’t walk out of class in a Quasimodo stance.
Though not intimidating, the pole seemed to have mocked me a few times as I couldn’t get the proper grip and slid down to the floor. For some reason every time I slid my mind took me back to the first Bridget Jones movie as Renee Zellweger slid down a fireman’s pole and all you saw was a granny bloomers covered round bum! Speaking of gripping, I NOW understand why everyone that gets on the pole is wearing next to nothing or booty shorts. Your bare skin aides in the grip. I wore leggings and gripping at my thighs was a challenge. One of the things I did love, is that the instructor, Kristen, was very encouraging. She made sure that no one slacked, but we could move at our own pace. If we were having difficulty with a move she provided modifications.
Let me just say the warms up alone nearly killed me, from the squats (as we used the pole) and doing leg bounces. Of course my favorite part as we shook it out were the body rolls on the pole and the “sexy walk” around the pole. That came naturally. When the actual instruction started, the sexy walk was made more fun as we added on a few spins! Yes, I can do spins on the pole; with proper hand and leg positioning! However, it wouldn’t take long for my thigh muscles to give me the side-eye (if they had eyes) at how I was making them work so much after being lazy for the past few months. I mean really, these thick thighs have had it easy for the past few months. All they have been doing is having a seat so they can spread and be as comfortable as they please. One of the spins Kristen taught us was the fireman’s spin. I probably got ONE good one in before my thighs were screaming “Ma’am! MA’AM HAVE SEVERAL SEATS!” That’s when I excused myself for a minute and had a talk with my thighs in the restroom and splashed water on my face.
After a few minutes I returned to class. I thought my thighs got themselves together (no pun intended). I got in another good spin and slid to the floor….well my bottom wanted to touch the floor but my thighs had other plans. So basically, I was briefly in mid landing; bent into position to fold on the floor but my behind was up in the air. Yeah…
At the end of class, we put the steps we learned altogether. We danced to my one of my favorites – and apparently Kristen’s too as she played it during warm ups and said “this song just makes you wanna get ratchet” – M.I.A.’s “Bad Girls.” We did our little routine with a little bit of freestyle and class was over. Then came the extra workout. With us being on 14th Street, near Logan Circle, the U Street Corridor and Adams Morgan, I had a good parking space. With my aching thighs and my friend’s aching arms, we decided to be brave and walk four miles for food. We ended up at Mandu, a Korean restaurant. Mandu looked like the promise land to us. I immediately gulped down water and asked our server to keep the water flowing.
Despite the muscle aches that seems to last for a few days, I would return. I’m actually anxious to return. Pole dancing is something that I’ve been wanting to do ever since I viewed the progress of a young lady in New Orleans on You Tube. The young lady goes by the name of “Loveracing25,” and what inspired me and piqued my interest about pole dancing is the fact that she is a curvy girl like me! Not that I didn’t think plus size women couldn’t pole dance, I had seen a few before. However, I never viewed it as something that would work for me. I have thick thighs that are a bit much to work out (as you can see). I also have a little bit of a stomach and since having a kid, my stomach muscles don’t feel as strong. Oh did I mention I’m 33. Oye!
However, not only is Loveracing25 slightly thicker than me, she too has had children, I believe is also in her 30s and I can’t imagine the stress she has been through living in New Orleans during Katrina and such that probably took a toll on her body. She set a goal and she became disciplined. Her discipline in pole dancing has toned her body. She’s still a thick curvy chic, but now her curves are even more defined and her body is so bodacious! The first video I ever saw of her was a compilation vid she put together. It showed different segments in the course of three years; from her beginnings in pole dancing to her present stance. She mastered the pole in roughly three years and eventually became an instructor.
Check out her progress video below.
Be sure to check LoveRacing25’s YouTube Channel. And beware, I just may be coming to a pole near you. As Kristen told the class, “Watch out tricks! She’ll steal your pole!”
Mahoganie: Musings East of the Anacostia River 
Loveracing25
February 3, 2014
Congrats to you on your pole journey!!!!