Dear Writer, Don’t Forget to Live

Mahoganie La Boum-ing or doing the “shake your tambourine, go get yourself a whistle and blow?”

Far too many times I hear how writers are often loners. We seclude ourselves, not as a self imposed punishment, but as a way to mute the noise around us as we’re trying to crank our thoughts onto paper. But what if it’s too quiet? What if we take ourselves away for so long that we inadvertently forget how to live; really live? Have you ever been so caught up in, not only your writing project, but with other issues going on your life that one day you look up and realize you are under a rock? I think sometimes we forget there is life outside of our writing realm. We get so caught up in our own projects, while trying to maintain ourselves that we don’t find the time to spend with our loved ones.

Currently I have a few things on my plate that I need to get done, especially one project that I verbally made a priority, but for whatever reason I haven’t given it my full attention. By Thursday, the week had already proved to be a stressful and an emotionally taxing one (I know, starting a day after my first ever yoga class). Then Friday’s tragic news broke about the shooting at the Sandy Hook Elementary school in Connecticut. The journalist in me wanted to keep watching the coverage, but the parent and disturbed-by-the-news-human in me wanted to avoid it and social media as everyone every where was talking about it. I really had to turn away from it as it became clear that a lot of irresponsible journalism was taking place as networks were trying to push to be first; reporting the wrong name of the suspect and the confusion about shooting victims outside of the school and their relation to the shooter. My issues, my workload plus the coverage of the tragedy almost triggered me into a real state of seclusion, but I had something to look forward to on Saturday.  I had made plans a week before to celebrate my friend’s birthday and Saturday just couldn’t come soon enough.

Initially, I stressed over it.  I worried if a celebratory brunch was in my budget? Could I make it home at a decent hour to get some work done?  By Friday evening, I said “fuck it!”. Even if it was set for a few hours I needed that time to shake off the feelings of grief, depression and stress that was creeping on me. I needed to celebrate life as my friend entered another year with hers. I needed to feel and be alive. I needed to dance. So I dropped my worries, said silent prayers (into today) that the Lord will see me through my financial situation and to help me maintain a steady beat and balance with my writing projects and I headed to the La Boum Brunch at the L’enfant  Cafe and Bar in Adams Morgan, where I celebrated my friend’s 32nd birthday. Read my review about La Boum here on Yelp.

There have been times when I describe myself as an outward introvert and an inward extrovert. I love to socialize. I love people, but in public that might not translate to such. I think a lot of times I’m just observing, listening and taking in the whole scene; that is unless I’m working on a story, then I’m on!  Actually, I think I’ve gotten better over the last couple of years, especially if I attend events and gatherings alone.  Still, I love being outside of the house when I have time to do so. A few days ago I drafted a muse where I talk about how my social life seems non-existent right now. There’s no balance with me where as I can take care of my home life, continue to grow as a writer and push forward with projects, cultivate a serious entrepreneurship, tend to my needs, especially my health and find time to socialize with family and friends and not have to turn them down all the time. Don’t get me wrong, there are moments in my life when I’m a true social butterfly, but it happens in spurts that are far and few.

Far too often I come in contact with fellow writers who share this dilemma. They are loners, but they accept that and continue to live a life as such, even though they long to be in the mix of people. Being a writer takes a LOT of discipline, especially if you want to see your finish product in good quality shape but released in a timely manner. The motto, like many workaholics, is “write now, party later.” Yet, sometimes you just need to stop, experience and suck in life. The good, bad, ugly, calming and rawness of it all. It’s life that helps us write.

It’s ok to take a momentary break and go to brunch with a few friends, unless you are on that writing high momentum that can’t be interrupted. In that case, the “party” can wait. Just don’t forget to live when the writing takes a pause.

Tagged: creative, creative writing, L'enfant Cafe and Bar, La Boum, life, Washington DC, writing

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