Actress Maia Campbell turns to Iyanla Vanzant for help on Fix My Life.
Photo courtesy: Oprah Winfrey Network
“Mental illness is a kind of slavery. We won’t always have to hide and run and do our work in the dark. The day is coming when people with brain diseases won’t be written off or warehoused, when everyone will know that recovery is possible.” – BeBe Moore Campbell via her character Keri in 72 Hour Hold.
Last night I caught another episode of Iyanla Vanzant’s show on OWN; Fix My Life. I’m not an avid viewer of the show, but I tend to catch it every now and then. I watched last night because of the week’s promos leading up to the episode. In case you are unfamiliar; Vanzant is a renowned spiritual adviser/inspirational speaker. Growing up, I remember a few of my homeroom teachers, within the Seventh Day Adventist school I attended, would often lead off the devotional mornings with readings from Vanzant’s book “Acts of Faith.” I also grew up around the time Vanzant had her own talk show in which the topics were about motivating people in different areas of their lives. The show didn’t last long and there were reports that Vanzant fell into debt. During Oprah’s final season of her talk show she invited Vanzant to appear and in a two-part episode the two made amends of a broken professional relationship and personal friendship. Fast forward to when Oprah establishes OWN and it’s of no surprise that Vanzant is back on her feet with a new show, Fix My Life.
Unlike her talk show, Vanzant’s Fix My Life is a reality based show where she counsels people on whatever their issues are that they bring to her. The show aired in September with its premier episode focusing on three generations of women within the same family having [mother/daughter] issues. I didn’t see the premiere. I did see the highly anticipated following two-part episode that featured reality star Evelyn Lozada, star of the VH1 show Basketball Wives and now former wife of (former) NFL star Chad “Ochocinco” Johnson. It seemed like everyone I knew was watching this show when Lozada was featured, because it was right in the thick of the reports and news blitz of Lozada’s and Johnson’s failing marriage; from the domestic abuse charge against Johnson, Johnson losing his job with the Miami Dolphins and the divorce that followed.
It wasn’t until after the Lozada episode(s) that a friend of mine brought something to my attention on what really goes down on Fix My Life. It’s a pattern that I study every time I catch an episode and which led me to my own nervousness about last night’s episode. First let me say that I do respect, understand and sometimes learn from what Vanzant says. However, sometimes her show leaves me with a feeling of “now what?” Nothing seems (or really is) “fixed” as the title of her show suggests. I don’t even get a sense that the people on the show receive some kind of healing or concrete solutions on how they can move toward the direction of true spiritual healing. My friend explained in an metaphor she heard via a pastor; “I’ll never cut you open without sewing you back up.” And so, every time I see Fix My Life I see Vanzant cutting people open, helping them dig to the root of their issue and exposing it, but there is no stitching up. Taking it an extra step, here is the EXACT pattern I see; the cutting or exposure, having the person own up to their part of the problem or their responsibility and then……… hugs and kisses to the one that you did wrong and that wronged you. It’s a made for TV Band-Aid. Nothing (in my eyes) seems fixed.
Last night actress Maia Campbell was featured. Campbell is best known for her role as “Tiffany” in the sitcom In The House, which starred Debbie Allen and LL Cool J. What many may or may not know is that Maia is also the daughter of famed journalist and author Be Be Moore Campbell. The last decade or so hasn’t been kind to Maia. She was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and it was obvious she went into a deep denial about it. Instead of staying on her medication to help stabilize her moods, she turned to drugs. Though there was a mention of crystal meth during Vanzant’s narration on Maia, she didn’t mention what kind of drugs she did when speaking to Vanzant on camera. It was looking bad for Maia who had been filmed when she went into drug induced meltdowns. Videos of her meltdowns went viral. It got to a point I didn’t want to see anymore. I’m not even sure why I even looked at them. Clearly there was nothing entertaining about them. I always felt like crying when watching. I still remember one video of her half naked in someone’s bed and she’s singing; singing for a hit. She was still beautiful. Her voice was even golden, but her eyes were a tell-tale sign that she wasn’t “normal.” She had been locked up a couple of times and word was slowly getting around the gossip mill that Maia is mentally ill.
In the last year or so, a healthier Maia has been popping up on the internet as gossip sites catch photos of her out and about or little blurbs are written up that seem encouraging. Then, the promos for her to appear on Vanzant’s show started floating around. Enter my nervousness. Given the pattern of Vanzant’s show I wondered why for the life of me was Maia appearing on the show? Vanzant isn’t a licensed mental health expert, doctor, etc. What good could come out the show? I knew her mental health had to come up because it was the center of all that factored into Maia’s turbulence. I was curious as to how Vanzant would approach it. So, at 10 pm, I clutched a blanket as if it were pearls around my neck and watched cringe worthy moments.
I will say Vanzant didn’t disappoint. She stuck to the same pattern; cut, expose, have Maia own up to her mess, kiss-kiss and hug-hug her step father and daughter. What I did appreciate is Vanzant making clear that she didn’t care about Maia’s acting career. Her main concern was that Maia lives a healthy life. I also appreciate that she said she wasn’t trying to “fix” Maia’s bipolar disorder. The statement was in good effort, but whether she realized it or not that statement pretty much was cancelled out as the show progressed and exposed Maia to potential triggers that can set a mentally ill person back. Vanzant’s goal was to have Maia face and take responsibility for the drug use, as if the drug use was separate from Maia’s illness. Studies have shown that the two are commonly linked. Even Maia’s mom in her last book, 72 Hour Hold, acknowledges this. Yet, determined to have Maia face her drug ridden past, Vanzant had Maia role play parts of her old self that included a 12 year wanting to act, the 20 something year old that was an active actress but had not long been diagnosed with a mental disorder and a post-active actress that hit a low with her mental illness and her drug use. Oh and the real tough one, showing Maia a picture of her deceased mother and having her yell out her feelings. These could have all triggered something in Maia to set her back, but thankfully she seemed to make it through, even though she wanted to retreat when faced with a picture of her lowest point. It was clear Maia was on her meds as she appeared to be just cruising along with the whole thing. Vanzant could tell that it would be hard for her to dig into Maia’s gut to get out whatever hurt she was feeling. So she went with the “shock” of the role playing.
Things that came out was that Maia didn’t believe her mother fully supported or believe in her acting career. She was also hurt that she couldn’t spend as much time as she wanted to be with her mom during her last days. She cried to Vanzant that the family kept her away because of the drug use. Instead of trying to see if her family fully understood her diagnoses or even offering that up as a something to ponder, Vanzant went for the “own it” and pointed the figure at Maia and her drug use.
As I watched, I couldn’t help but to dig in my memory of Bebe Moore Campbell’s last book. I read 72 Hour Hold the year it was published. The book is about a mother, Keri, who is struggling to cope with an 18 year old daughter who is bipolar. Just like Maia’s step-father, Keri is the conservator of her daughter and places her in a mental facility for a 72 hour hold. Throughout the book Keri’s daughter is very much like Maia; escaping, not taking her meds, self medicating with marijuana and a bit promiscuous. Keri eventually evokes the spirit of Harriet Tubman as she is introduced to an alternative program that could save her daughter. However, by the book’s end (from my memory) there is no real resolve. Keri’s daughter isn’t “saved” from her illness and Keri is left pondering what does the future hold for her daughter and she transitions into adulthood with the disorder. Though Bebe made it clear that is was based off a relative that was mentally ill, she never said explicitly that it was Maia. I always suspected it was loosely based on Maia and even more so after watching her last night.
In the end, Maia acknowledged that she was appreciative of her step-father, but wished he would trust her a bit more to handle her own affiars, especially now that she seems to be on the right track in gaining a healthier life. Her step-father admitted that he needed to learn to let go, but he loves her dearly and cares too much about what happens to her to let go so easily. Maia’s 12 year-old daughter seemed to be a bit at ease. She seems to understand what is going on with her mom. She still loves her mom, but wants her to continue to get well so she can spend more time with her.
The last thing I appreciated about the show was Vanzant’s final words. She expressed the sentiment that dealing with people with a mental illness takes a different approach. That you must learn to accept them as they are and in order to show your support or try to help them, you have to meet the person at the level they are on. She also expressed that you cannot change a person or try to fit a mentally ill person into an image you want to see them as (during the setbacks and the midst of recovery). Yet again, with her final statements they almost seem to cancel out as what she exposed Maia to could have set her back. What if she didn’t handle the role playing exercise well? Then what? It may not have affected her immediately, but what if in a week or so time something clicks? That’s the thing about dealing with someone with a mental disorder. You never know what could pull them back under.
The show did close out with an update to say that since the taping Maia has been receiving phone calls and offers to appear or participant in various things. She is also still sober and is looking at a March release from the rehabilitation program where she currently resides.
If all for not, I do believe for this particular episode a licensed doctor that deals with mental health issues should have been there helping to guide and bring in an understanding of bipolar disorder and help correlate the relationship between drug abuse and mental illness, especially since whatever choices Maia made, it’s a fine line in trying to understand how the choices (be it the people she brought into her life, the situations she found herself in) were made when you talk about someone that can go to from one emotional extreme to another, prone to have manic episodes and really can’t understand themselves all that is happening to them and is obviously not thinking rationally in some cases.
The episode was disappointing to say the least. In sticking with its usual pattern, it exposed Maia even more without giving viewers a clear understanding of how drugs and bipolar disorder are commonly linked. Even though Maia is on the road to a healthier state, it is so obvious she is still not really well. Her frequent blank stares said it all. If anything I’m glad for is the fact that Maia seems to be fighting to live. She wants to be healthy. My prayer is that she receives the proper help and support from her family, doctors and even spiritual community.
Maybe the name of Vanzant’s show should be tweaked or reworked. Clearly she isn’t a fixer. There are potential dangers when exposure can go wrong, especially when you aren’t an actual therapist. Honestly, a lot of times Vanzant only says what a really caring and hardcore loving relative or friend would say to you if you were going through something. Only once in a blue moon she may say something that may spark some introspective thinking on my part. While I can respect what she does and how people do seek her guidance, I just wish Fix My Life would show some stitching and not the dab of an alcohol swab and the comfort of a band-aid.
Band-aids are only temporary.
Mahoganie: Musings East of the Anacostia River 
Posted on November 18, 2012
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